Tim's Crap of the Day

It's been a bit of a dry spell for Tim, what with the End of Financial Year and all but he's back in full force. Today's "treat" is a list of things made up by adults that kids supposedly said. Personally, I'd just look at this photo then move along.

The Way Children See Things!
Author Unknown (but I'd like to have a word with you)

NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a Woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt! *bwaaaa haaa haa haaaaa!*

HONESTY
My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, 'We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago. *HAW HAW HAW!*

OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents.' *Eeeeeeeeeheeehee... ooh, I just wet myself*

KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. 'It's the minister, Mommy,' the child said to her mother. Then she added, 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle.' *screw this, I can't be bothered any more*

All right, you get the point... now get back to work slacker!